How we now talk about food, react to food, discuss body-weight or body-image, or how we ourselves treat our bodies in relation to our eating or, perhaps, dieting will have a big impact on our children. It is important, therefore that we pay attention to the influence that we bring to bear.
Certainly the attitudes we have and the comments we make about how we look, and how we feel about our bodies can affect our children’s and teenagers’ views of their own bodies.
If, for example, we constantly say "I’m fat", or we complain about not exercising enough or practice a whole series of diets then we give off clear messages of discomfort or unhappiness with our bodies or our body-shape. What sense will our children then make of their body-shapes and how comfortable might they feel with their own development?
It is far better for us to focus on our health rather than our weight. If we aim to have a healthy lifestyle then our food and eating habits will fall in line with this. Similarly, if we do have to talk about our children’s eating habits then we should always focus on, and emphasise, health rather than weight. This way they get the ideal message that their bodies are healthy and strong and that we love them for who they are and not how they look.
We need to create a situation where food is only part of the maintenance of a healthy lifestyle for our family. So, we must also build other things, like exercise, into the fabric of our family life. Examples might include taking regular walks, or perhaps going swimming as a family. The aim is to make exercise a fun, rewarding and regular family activity rather than a means to an end.
Other ways to bring healthy attitudes about food and eating include involving our children in the preparation of healthy and nutritious meals, letting them know that it's okay to eat when they're hungry and to refuse food when they are not.
It's also important not to panic about our children’s eating. Faddy or fussy eating is very common and it is helpful to avoid getting locked into a power-struggle about what our children are eating (or are not eating!). If we can maintain a relaxed attitude to the meal-time that emphasises the social dimension as much as the nutritional dimension of the meal, then our children are less likely to develop negative attitudes to food.
Similarly, we need to be careful not to associate food or eating with rewards or punishments. Typically, for example, we offer sweet treats as an inducement for either good behaviour or successfully eating dinner. This kind of association can set up lifelong habits where sweets, chocolate or other foods become the reward, or the comfort, in times of stress.
As with many aspects of parenting, our own actions will speak louder than words when it comes to how our children pick up our attitudes, beliefs and values. So, when in doubt, if we role model positive attitudes and behaviours in relation to food and eating then there is a much higher likelihood that our children will develop similarly positive attitudes.